Posts Tagged ‘Married humour’

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Die Another Day!

March 23, 2011

Happy Anniversary W! This year, your top 9 resolutions should be:

1. Beat your wife less this year unless she absolutely deserves it. You and I both know who beats who but I understand this is your blog.

2. Stop trying so hard to be funny all the time. ‘I like a guy with a sense of humour’ got replaced by ‘I like a guy with a sense of designer bags’ while you were getting fat.

3. Stop hitting on girls 10 (or more) years younger than you. You are going home with your wife…again!

4. Stop going on diets all the time…they are not working!

5. Stop thinking about leaving this country. It’s not your surroundings. It’s you!

6. Stop telling people you work for Geo. You work for that channel that’s on number 75 on Worldcall.

7. When people ask you what you school you went to, stop throwing around that fancy university’s name in California. You went to City School!

8. If you want your kids to talk about you in a respectable way after you die, leave them some plots in phase 8. Keep those f%#$@#% tennis racquets for yourself in case you find a tennis court in hell!

9. For the love of God, stop singing!

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